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Raising Cain



Raising Cain
America is reaping the result of raising Cain. In 1946 Dr. Benjamin Spock published his child raising Bible. Forget the real Bible, the Book of Proverbs and the wisdom of the ages, the Baby Boomers would follow a different path. How has that worked out? “There is a way that seemeth right, but the end there of are the ways of death.” For future generations who will pick through the rubble and archeological remains of a forgotten and lost civilization, we should leave an entry in a ship’s log or journal explaining what happened. It might be aptly called How we Raised Cain. Perhaps it will attest to the fact the America, unlike Atlantis, was not a myth.  Perhaps it will serve as a warning to those who read it. It was not the virus, but the vanity that destroyed America. By the way, just how exactly did we raise Cain? Here are the Cliffs Notes.

  1. Always say “yes.” Let Cain believe he is the center of the home and the universe. Let everything revolve around him. Organize elaborate birthday parties with ponies, or clowns, or rented-out venues (with catering). This will make him the envy of all his peers, or a narcissist.
  2. Never ever say “no,” but if you do, make sure he learns early that you do not really mean what you say. Rather than saying “no” when he reaches out to touch a hot stove, tries to pull the cat’s tail, or grabs a handful of candy at the checkout counter, try to redirect his attention to something positive.
  3. If he “pitches a fit,” holds his breath, or throws a tantrum so as to get his way, make sure he gets his way. Let him have the candy.
  4. Put him in Day Care to be taught by Godless Philistines for 8 to 9 hours a day, especially during his first, formative years.
  5. Never let him fail. Reinforce every attempt with a verbal affirmation of “good job,” even when it’s not. If they bring you a flower plucked from your neighbor’s Rose Garden, tell them they are cute and wonderful.
  6. Award a trophy for potty training or for just showing up at the game.
  7. Take his side, especially against any authority that fails to validate how special he is. This will prepare him to join Antifa. Never mind the Boy Scouts. Why rub two sticks together when C4 and Molotov cocktails make a greater impression? Teach him that Policemen (oops! I mean police-persons, since you must always be politically correct) Police Persons are evil.
  8. Send him to a School where he will be taught we evolved from monkeys.
  9. Let him have his own Autonomous Zone in his bedroom with a sign on the door that says “Keep Out.” Make sure it has a computer and WiFi, and a place to stash drugs.
  10.  Never tell him about a thing called Sin, Heaven or Hell, the Cross of Jesus Christ, and Judgment Day. Let him walk in the counsel of the ungodly, stand with sinners, and sit in the seat of the scornful.  

(If you don't want to raise Cain, you might want to teach him the 10 Commandments for starters.If you are reading this iThought, it means that America and the internet are still here and there is still time to change course.) -id


Ingimar DeRidder
5523 Newberry Drive
Raleigh,NC 27609